One of the most valuable lessons other cultures can learn from Muslim marriages is, when a man marries a woman, he is reminded of the value of his wife. She is a special and dear daughter of people who love her, who value and respect her, therefore, he as a husband should treat her the same way or better. Every day is Valentine’s day in a Muslim marriage because Muslim husbands who truly embody the teachings of Islam (and not twist it as a guise for outdated cultural practices) and strive for the closeness of Allah swt have been taught from the get-go, how to treat their wives every day. They know to respect and love her, treat her with tender loving care, to protect and provide for her. Husbands know that their wives are an “Amana” (a trust) that they are responsible and accountable for her physical, emotional and spiritual well being.
Muslim wives are taught to respect their husband’s knowledge, judgment and protection. Challenging your husband’s leadership and duty, especially when it’s uncalled for, will only lead to an emotionally-charged discussion that has the potential to put both of you on opposite sides of a never-ending, inconsequential all-out battle. #AintNoBodyGotTimeForThat right?! Say AMEEN!
A Muslim wife knows that in order to create a synergy of the masculine and feminine Yin Yang energies, she must allow her husband to make his mistakes and allow him to learn from them without being sarcastic or putting him down insolently. It’s all about giving and be open to receive. Give respect and receive love and affection. Give love and affection and receive respect.
Your husband desires to know more than anything that you trust and “have his back”, that you believe he has the wisdom and skills to succeed, despite his inadequacies. The other reason why every day is Valentine’s day in a Muslim marriage is that a wife believes in her husband’s capabilities and supports him to strive and be more ambitious. A Muslim wife solidifies her husband’s standing in the family by respecting him as the head of the home, the protector, and the provider.
Sharia identifies romance and conjugal relations between a married couple as sadaqah. The gift of intimacy in a Muslim marriage is an expression of unselfish love and a physical demonstration of spiritual unity. Muslim couples are taught not to withhold their selves by using sex as a weapon or a bribe. Muslim couples are advised to honour their matrimonial bed as sacred and to meet each other’s physical needs. Intimacy in marriage does not only serve a physical climax but also a mental and spiritual alignment of two souls who were created to be together, to complete one another and to be one another’s protective garments (Qur’an 2:187).
The Prophet SallallahuAlayhiWa Sallam (Peace and Blessings be Upon Him) said, “If you spend an amount you will be rewarded for it, even when you lift the morsel to your wife’s mouth.” Every day is Valentine’s Day in a Muslim marriage because spouses know that it is the small gestures they both do for each other every day that counts towards exhibiting their love and appreciation for one another.
Simple things like helping each other with the house chores, eating and drinking from one place, or telling each other stories, trying new things and simply enjoying and craving one another’s company. A husband lying on his wife’s lap or a wife finding comfort and solace on her husband’s chest, a husband wiping tears from his wife’s eyes or complementing her with kisses regularly, are all gestures of love, respect, and honour in a Muslim marriage.